Divorce isn’t easy for anyone to manage—let alone during a global pandemic and with two teenagers. And it’s often not a quick or straightforward process. Between attorneys, assets and schedules, a divorce can linger on for years, as can the difficult emotions that come with it. 

That’s why Sam, a CuraLinc participant, decided to reach out for support.  

“Over the last four years, I’ve been through a very ugly divorce,” she says. “It’s been crazy, and it’s just consumed all of my time.” 

A simple email sparks a new journey

Sam learned of CuraLinc through her employer. A simple email promoting their new workplace mental health benefit helped kick-start a new journey—one that connected both her and her family to the resources and tools they needed to get through a challenging time. 

“Our HR team sent out an email and said, ‘Hey we’re using this new program,’ but I read it, thought about it and just left it in my inbox,” she explains. “Then a co-worker and I were talking about something she was struggling with, and I told her about the email and recommended she call.” 

Taking the first step

But when that same co-worker asked if she’d ever contacted CuraLinc herself, Sam realized she needed to commit to taking action. While she found support for her children early in the divorce process, it wasn’t until she heard about CuraLinc that she took the first step in finding support for herself. “I was just scared, and this process for me, when I finally did decide to reach out, was so much easier,” she says. “I don’t know why we treat ourselves so much worse than we would treat our friends.” 

Sam’s feelings are similar to many people who experience divorce. Guilt, shame, failure—all of these emotions can cause people to retreat rather than reach out for support. It’s not uncommon for people going through a divorce to withdraw from close friends and family as well. “I don’t know how to put it into words because your entire life changes, and it changes your kids’ lives and you feel guilty,” Sam says. “Plus, all the regular adult stuff that’s going on—just work and life are happening too.” 

Personalized support

As difficult as that first step may be, reaching out for personalized support can make a significant difference for both parents and children of all ages. When CuraLinc participants reach out, whether via phone or online channels, they’re connected with a Care Advocate who can learn more about the specific details of their situation and help determine what kind of support and resources might work best for them, as well as any other family members impacted. Children may not feel comfortable discussing a divorce with their parents or may be too young to understand and process their feelings about it. That’s why having a professional support system outside the home is essential.  

Since Sam’s teen children were already receiving support when she learned about CuraLinc, she knew it was time to focus on getting the right support for herself. In her case, that meant convenient access to in-person care. After contacting CuraLinc, Sam was quickly connected with a therapist who met her needs in terms of scheduling and location and felt ready to pick up the phone to make her first appointment. 

“I laughed and immediately felt comfortable”

“It was kind of funny because I called and explained that I wanted to work through my feelings and this experience in a healthy way rather than managing them with wine, and she told me she completely understood because she was eating ice cream at the moment. I laughed and immediately felt comfortable with her.” 

During the divorce process and after, receiving personalized support and treatment can make a significant difference for the entire family. Sam was happy to share some of her new habits with us, as well as her new perspective on mental health after treatment. 

Prioritizing self-care

“Twice a week, I leave work so I can go to Pilates class, and I’m just trying to make myself a priority now,” she says. “I know that if I’m not taking care of myself, it’s like the whole oxygen mask on the airplane thing. Sometimes you need to put yours on first.”